Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
