I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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