His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
