there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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