also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
