The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
