I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
