i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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