last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
