aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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