I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
