you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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