I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
