I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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