I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
