I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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