I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
