We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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