Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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