I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
