I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
