it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
