Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
