Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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