Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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