the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
