On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
