Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
