Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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