oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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