I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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