Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
