Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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