wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
