Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
