Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
