Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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