is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
