We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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