i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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