if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
