I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
