can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
