This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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