Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
