READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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