You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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