the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
