i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
