Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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